Water Taxi
by Coqui's Song
Summary: Charon still wants his pay raise.


******Oh, hey, it's Friday the 13th. Happy Friday the 13th!**

**Anyway, I wrote this because I think I've written enough angsty Nico-centric fics for now (hahaha, that's funny. There's not enough, never enough), but I just wanted to try my hand at humor. Also I needed to balance out all my angsty, depressing fics out. So. Yeah.**

**This might be OOC but whatever.**

**This takes place sometime between BotL and TLO.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO/HoO. No, it belongs to the wonderful Rick Riordan. **

_Water Taxi_

By: Coqui's Song

Nico sighs in relief as he sees Charon still docked in the Styx. He'd been hoping to catch him before he made his return ride to the mortal world. The young demigod breaks into a run, because the last passengers are just getting out, and if he misses Charon, he'll have to wait another day before he can leave the Underworld.

"Charon! Wait!" he shouts as he pours on the speed. He gets to the boat in about ten seconds and then he stops, breathing heavily.

The ferryman regards him coldly. He's dressed in his black robes, which he doesn't seem to like wearing, preferring luxurious Italian suits. "Well, if it isn't Nico di Angelo, son of my master. I suppose you need another ride back to Los Angeles?"

"You… suppose… correctly," the eleven-year-old half-blood pants as he climbs into the boat.

Charon scowls. "Why can't you shadow-travel out of here?"

"I can't," he says reasonably, taking a seat. "I haven't practiced enough yet. I'm still doing little jumps so I don't get too tired. Going all the way to the mortal world from here would make me pass out for a week."

"And what a heavenly week it'll be," Charon mutters, "without you needing me to escort you to and from the Underworld! I ain't a bloody taxi service, you know."

"Oh, quit your constant complaining. I give you a generous amount of drachmas each and every time you give me a ride across the River Styx." Nico pulls a handful of the golden coins out of his jean pocket. He shakes them, making them jingle against each other. "Or do you not want to be paid?"

"I'm not a taxi service," the ferryman grumbles again, but takes the coins.

"No offense, but you kind of are," Nico says, struggling not to grin.

"I beg your pardon?"

The son of Hades shrugs. He's not worried about Charon. As grumpy and moody as the ferryman is, however many times he might threaten Nico, he never goes through with it, probably because way, way deep down, he's fond of the young demigod. Or because he'll get fired. Most probably the latter. "Spirits give you money to ride to the Underworld. I give you money to take me to and from the Underworld. Doesn't that sound like a taxi service to you?"

"It would if that money didn't go straight to your father," Charon scoffs. He begins to guide the boat across the river slowly and carefully. "Speaking of which. I thought you said you'd talk to Hades about getting me a raise in my salary? That Percy Jackson fellow promised to get me one, but that was three years ago!"

The son of Hades frowns. When had Percy ever gone to the Underworld? Oh, yes, he remembers now. In Percy's first quest, he traveled to Hades' realm, thinking that the god of the dead had stolen the master bolt from Zeus. He'd gone to the Lotus Hotel on that quest too... Maybe, if he tries hard enough to remember, Nico can recall seeing the older boy there... But no, he can't remember. He sighs.

Nico shakes his head and shrugs. "He says he doesn't have the money for it."

"No _money_?!" Charon stops rowing and looks at him in fury. He looks like he's about to throw his oar into the Styx, which wouldn't be good. Probably the ferryman would get fired for that, and then there would be no one to take mortals to the Underworld... Spirits above everywhere, not ever finding a place to rest... And Nico would just be stuck on the river for eternity, or until he decides to try shadow-traveling out of the Underworld. He doesn't like the chances of his not making it to the mortal realm. Or worse, Hades will make Nico be the ferryman to take spirits across the Styx. Though maybe he'd be paid a little bit more than Charon. "No money? He's the bloody god of wealth! Don't start that 'no money' business with me, Nicholas di Angelo. He gives you a damn allowance!"

At least he hadn't used the 'f-word,' Nico thinks. The last time Charon used it in front of the eleven-year-old, Hades had taken the ferryman aside to wash his mouth with soap, yelling at him about how he was destroying Nico's innocence. "How dare you teach my son such foul vocabulary!"

"He would have learned it sooner or later!" Charon had protested.

The memory makes Nico smirk. He meets the ferryman's eyes, getting defensive but not angry.

"Don't get angry with me!" Nico replies. He can tell Charon's furious because he'd just called the demigod _Nicholas_. No one calls him Nicholas. Well, Bianca used to, when she was angry with him, and he supposes it's just a thing that older people do when they're scolding children, use their full names. He's also pretty sure that Charon is envious because Nico gets an allowance. (Nico never told him and he'll never tell him, but his allowance is slightly more than what Charon is earning. Yeah, being a god's son has its benefits, especially when it's Hades, lord of riches. Living with said god is even better.) "I'm just the messenger. Just be happy with whatever drachmas you're getting from me. If I wanted, I could just make you take me to and from the Underworld and not give you a dime. And you would have to, otherwise you'd have Hades on your tail."

"Fine," Charon snaps. "Thank you for your generosity, _Ghost King._"

"You're quite welcome," he responds, smirking. The ferry stops and begins to rise out of the water, converting into an elevator. It's a strange sensation at first, but Nico has ridden the boat enough times that he's used to it. He hears a _ding _and the elevator door opens. He steps out and takes another coin out of his pocket. He hands it to Charon. "Your tip."

The ferryman looks murderous, but Nico ignores it.

**Ω Ω Ω**

The Olympians' side win the Titan War, and Hades is in a good mood. After all, Zeus had thanked him up on Olympus. It's rare that his father is in a good mood. It's almost unnatural, Nico thinks, as he watches the god of the Underworld greet spirits in Elysium and make pleasant small talk: "How are things going here? Heavenly enough for you?"

"Oh, well, I wouldn't mind more wine down here," Castor, Dionysus' demigod son who had died in the Battle of the Labyrinth last year, replies almost shyly.

"It shall be done!" Hades says, grinning. Hades, god of the dead. Grinning.

Seriously, what. Is. With. His. Father?

Nico walks over to Charon, who is leaning on his oar, anger in his gaze. "Something wrong?"

"Hades is in a good mood," the ferryman seethes.

"And that's a bad thing?" wonders Nico.

"Yes," Charon growls. "He's only in this good of a mood down here once in a millenia, and here I am, still on my damned minimum wage! I demand a bloody pay raise!"

"Well, you certainly aren't going to get it with _that_ attitude," says a voice behind them, and Nico whips around to find Hades, arms crossed, his eyebrows arched.

"H-Hades!" Charon stutters, dropping his oar on the black sand of the Styx. "I meant no disrespect, not at all. You've been most generous already. Just I've had my eye on this Italian suit, you know, and, well, I didn't mean to impose..."

_He means _several_ Italian suits,_ Nico thinks, smirking.

"Oh, spare me," Hades groans. "I will give you a raise."

Charon bites his tongue as if to stop himself from making another sarcastic comment. He nods in gratitude and says nothing more.

"And a raise in allowance for you, Nico," the god of the dead says almost affectionately, handing his son some mortal money and golden drachmas.

Nico takes it and smiles. "Thank you, Father."

Hades gives Charon a check, bids them goodbye, and walks towards the palace. Nico talks a bit longer with Charon, their conversation consisting of "I told you so"s from Nico and "Please shut up already"s from the ferryman. Finally, the son of Hades also says goodnight. It's getting late and he's tired.

As he begins to walk back to the palace, to his home, he hears Charon rip open his check.

"A pay raise of _twenty-five_ _cents_?! Bloody cheap god of wealth!"

**I so failed. XD But hey, I thought the idea was funny at least. **

**Also, in ****_The House of Hades_, Trip calls Nico 'Nicholas' and so now my headcanon is that that's his real name; he just shortens it to Nico. Yeah I pay too much attention to detail. XD**

**Reviews are appreciated. :D**

**_~Coqui's Song_**


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